Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old