you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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