so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
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therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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