I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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