Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
