He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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