they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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