She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
