I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
