the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
