So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
