Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
