This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
