found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
