Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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