One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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