I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
