I heard we made out
Your dad touched me again.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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