I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Welp...herpes.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize