I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize