Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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