She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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