considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Houston, we have a blender
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
