Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
