Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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