I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
