small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize