3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
