i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
