dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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