I will die if light touches me.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
