Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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