are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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