i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
