question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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