some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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