so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
false alarm, still single
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
