lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
