Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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