Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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