he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
