So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
