Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
