Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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