Can i not drive my cunt home
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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