it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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