Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude. I can hear the air.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
