Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
