You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
