You're my little dorito
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
