Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize