He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
