I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
