It's just like the Real World with babies
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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