If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i've created a new STD.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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