So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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