i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
bring money and cleavage
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
