another moral hangover. fuck.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
