I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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