Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's the barista slut.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
