I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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