shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
