I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
