I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
