Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry coslopus1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

Fav 5 1303 2115
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

Fav 7 3585 1232
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

Fav 6 6041 1173
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

Fav 21 3547 1123
share tweet
(760): View more from California

I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

Fav 1 1035 712
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...

Fav 20 1059 1461
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

The milf did the body paint, come to the bar

Fav 2 1114 608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.

Fav 3 504 1003
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT

Fav 0 39 0
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT